Distraction in Digital Therapy

Teens Are Top for New Therapists

Many of my graduate clinical psychology students say they want to work with teens. Why wouldn’t they? Teens bring the energy, the drama, and the depth — and their lives are packed with the kind of raw, revealing material therapists live for. Plus, the teenage years, with all their awkwardness and intensity, tend to linger in our memories, so it’s familiar ground even if the details have changed. What’s far less certain is how to truly engage teenagers in digital therapy when texting and the constant buzz of social media are competing for their attention every step of the way.

Connection Confusion: When Therapy Competes with Text Threads

Adolescents care greatly about what their friends think. Social planning and peer dynamics can dominate adolescents’ lives, with other priorities often getting short shrift. When online therapy was in its incipient stages, most teens were doing it on computers. That alone made it tough to tune out distractions. But now that virtual therapy feels more routine and relaxed, a lot of teens do sessions from their phones, which makes staying focused even harder.

Engaging in therapy on a phone that simultaneously delivers a continuous stream of dings, pings, and pop ups poses a significant cognitive challenge. The brain’s attentional capacity is limited, and attempting to engage in therapy while managing the distractions of incoming messages often results in fragmented focus. The brain is a spotlight, not a floodlight — it can only shine on one thing at a time. You might be thinking, ‘It’s no big deal — just let them read or send a quick text and then refocus.’ But it’s not that simple. Trying to meditate amid a heated group chat is far from ideal.

Bringing the Phone into the Conversation

When interruptions happen repeatedly, the therapist may get frustrated, which could negatively affect the therapeutic alliance. If the therapist is also a parent who struggles with getting their own teen to put down the phone, they may experience transference— unintentionally adopting a parental tone that can come across as preachy when asking the client to silence notifications.

The solution is actually quite straightforward—and it’s something we therapists do naturally: bring it up during the session. For example, a therapist might say, “I get that you don’t want to miss a message, but I’ve noticed your attention really drifts when you check your phone, and it’s tough for us to get back on track. Do you think we should do something about it?” More often than not, teens respond positively—either by agreeing to silence notifications or by asking for a few minutes to handle something important. This approach puts them in control, builds trust, and helps maintain an emotionally connected, caring, and realistic therapeutic relationship. Let’s face it: teens and their phones quite literally go hand in hand. Trying to control their screen time is like trying to stop the sun from rising.

Finding Themselves through Friends and Feeds

Being connected is a vital part of identity formation during adolescence. Teens are naturally self-conscious and highly attuned to their friends’ opinions. They are constantly monitoring social feedback and integrating it into their evolving self-image. Rather than fighting their phone use, therapists can benefit from asking about what’s happening in those texts and social interactions. There’s a wealth of insight to be gained about their relationships and experiences.

Ultimately, we can see a teen’s phone not as the irksome enemy but as a bridge that connects us to meaningful conversations about social media, self-worth, and emotional well-being. For many teens, the digital world is their world. That’s why therapists have a unique opportunity to step into that space with patience and empathy, helping adolescents make sense of the chaos, find balance, and build healthier relationships—with both their screens and themselves.