Children’s Minnesota

Ms. Wilcox-Schowalter is Director of Education Operations at Children’s Minnesota, with 17 years in healthcare and over 20 in people leadership. A certified coach and change practitioner, she specializes in development and workplace dynamics. Outside work, she enjoys gardening, reflecting her passion for cultivating growth and connection.

You can't see it and you might not know it's there, but there's an invisible network that often determines the difference between thriving at work and merely surviving: your help chain. This network of colleagues, mentors and collaborators represents one of your most valuable professional assets, yet many of us hesitate to activate it when we need it most.

The Cost of Going It Alone

Employees who provide and seek help effectively from colleagues are likely to enjoy better relationships at work and experience higher job satisfaction. Yet many professionals struggle to ask for help at work, often viewing it as a sign of weakness or incompetence. This reluctance comes at a significant cost. When we attempt to solve every challenge independently we slow our own progress and deprive our colleagues of the collaborative, energy that drives innovation.

The key to overcoming this hesitation is reframing help-seeking from a sign of weakness to a sign of strategic thinking. Successful leaders understand that their role isn't to have all the answers but to know how to find them, build strong relationships and bring out the best in others.

The Ripple Effect of Asking for Help: My Story

I'm responsible for an annual report on millions in funding for our organization; failure to complete it accurately would be catastrophic. I have to pull data from multiple sources and enter it into an online system. Over the years, I’ve found some efficiencies, but never quite cracked how to do it without exhausting myself for weeks. The reporting system is infuriatingly complex and manual data entry just isn’t my strength. Worse, I’m solely responsible for getting it done.

In my desperation this year, a realization hit me: I do the report because I’m the content expert, not a data analysis expert. I could Google how to sync all my spreadsheets and lines of data, wasting precious time with a deadline looming, but there’s no reward for masochism. We have in-house data experts. A light bulb moment: what if I don’t have to do it alone?

I pulled my help chain and contacted a skill specialist in my network (we’ll call her Kelly) to see if what I hoped for was even possible. She smiled.

Mere hours later, Kelly returned a file to me with all the data points combined, more or less seamlessly accomplishing what, earlier that day, I didn’t even know could be done. As we reviewed my other reporting processes, she pointed out ways I could use the software to save even more time. It was all I could do not to slap my forehead. Clearly, I’m no expert in this and why should I be? No one can be good at everything.

Knowing you don’t have to be and seeking help is a game-changer. It levels up your effectiveness. When you’re not limited by what you don’t know, but know who to ask, you unlock the power of combining content knowledge with skill expertise. That’s when transformation happens.

Kelly saved me literal days, maybe weeks, by giving me a few hours of her time. At one point, she said, “I love showing people ways to make this software work for them.” She seemed as delighted as I was, like it was a fun little game. No surprise: what’s drudgery for me is her daily work and she loves it. There was incredible energy between us—my relief and gratitude, her pride and joy at sharing her expertise in a new way.

The beauty of help chains lies in their reciprocal nature and what they add to culture and connection. Today’s helper becomes tomorrow’s help-seeker, strengthening relationships and building institutional knowledge. When you ask for help, you also give others the chance to share their expertise, feel valued and expand their network. And as a leader, you model humility, trust and vulnerability, which are key ingredients for psychological safety.

Build Your Network Before You Need It and Maintain It

The strongest help chains are built proactively. Make time to understand your colleagues' strengths, interests and challenges before you ask for their assistance. Offer your own expertise freely when others need it. These investments in relationship building pay dividends when you inevitably need support. No one appreciates being simply tasked with things or dumped on – context, relationship and reciprocity all matter here.

Never underestimate the power of a sincere, enthusiastic demonstration of gratitude. Right-size your appreciation based on your request; if someone gives you a quick assist, a note of thanks by email is probably sufficient, but if you get a big-lift bailout from someone, consider additional ways to show how much it meant to you. Adding their direct leader to the recipients on an emailed thank-you and really explaining what they did that went above and beyond, is a free and underutilized means of making it clear you value their assistance and want them recognized for it.

A Long-Term Investment

Your help chain is more than a professional safety net—it's a catalyst for growth, innovation and career advancement. By actively nurturing these relationships and being generous with your own expertise, you're not just solving today's problems; you're building the foundation for tomorrow's opportunities, for yourself and those around you. The professionals who thrive most are those who understand that pulling their help chain isn't just about getting assistance—it's about participating in the collaborative ecosystem that drives organizational success and personal fulfillment.

Your help chain is only as strong as the relationships you build and maintain. Start strengthening yours today.